OceanSide church of Christ

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IS A “HONEYMOON MARRIAGE” POSSIBLE? (1)

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.     Our title is:  “Is A ‘Honeymoon Marriage’ Possible?”

 

B.      I love lessons that can be completed in less than 30 seconds.  Don’t you? 

 

C.     The answer is:  “Yes,” and “No.” 

1.       When you first get married, “Yes.”

2.       After the first thirty days, “No.”  (NOTE:  This is where the moon gets involved.  Thirty days is the approximate full cycle of the moon).

 

D.     Just kidding.  But my answer to the question remains the same:  “Yes,” and “No.”

 

I.                    HONEYMOON DEFINED

 

A.     The first time the concept of honeymoon was introduced was in 1542.  It was used by Samuel Johnson.  He used the term to warn the couple that the tenderness, excitement, and sweetness would eventually wane just as the moon goes from full moon to new moon.

 

B.      Deuteronomy 24:5

 

When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business:  but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

 

1.       This might be called the “honey year.”

2.       Or,

a.       The man found out he could not cheer up the wife so he went to work.

b.      Or, the woman got sick of the man being home and told him to find a job.

 

C.     Couples began to take trips to various places immediately after they were married in Britain.  These trips, however, were not to nice resorts.  Instead, the couple would make a circuit in order to visit relatives on both sides of the family who were not able to attend the wedding.

 

D.     Historical roots?

1.       Some used to say that it came from the Norse.  After marriage, a beverage made from honey called Meade or Metheglin was drunk for 30 days, the cycle of the moon.

2.       Others will tell you that the honeymoon derived from “captive marriages.”

a.       A man would capture a girl.

b.      He would keep her in hiding for 30 days from family and relatives.

c.       When he finally brought her back out into the public view they had to be married because she was now pregnant.

d.      NOTE:  I have no idea where the honey is found in this reference.

 

E.      There are three main uses today.

1.       The honeymoon is the trip a couple takes for a few days following their wedding day.

2.       Some refer to the honeymoon as the period of harmony between a couple at the beginning of their marriage.

a.       Honey:  sweet and beautiful

b.      Moon:  the period of harmony last about 30 days, that is, the full cycle of the moon.

1)      The 2nd full moon is not in a hotel room.

2)      After thirty days, the bills start to come in from the wedding and honeymoon.

3)      Thirty days of bad habits now become 40, 50, and 60 days of bad habits.

4)      The couple returns from the honeymoon and live near their parents.

5)      After 30 days, a few promises are not kept that were agreed upon.

6)      A pregnancy test come up positive.

7)      Contentment leaves:  apartment is too small, the job does not pay well, conflict in the roles of the marriage, live too far from home, schooling

3.       Any period of blissful harmony

 

II.                  THE DIFFICULTIES OF MAINTAINING HONEYMOON BLISS

 

A.     Changes:

1.       Our physical bodies change.

a.       The wise Solomon (Eccl. 12:1)

 

Remember now they Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw night, when though shalt say, I have no pleasure in them.

 

b.      Paul eventually referred to himself as “the aged” (Phile. 9).

2.       Our interests change:  yard work, golf, cleaning the house, keeping the car shiny, keeping in shape, having an extra income, etc.

3.       Our homes:

a.       Children

b.      The places where we live

c.       Parents may have to live with us

 

B.      Struggles come our way:

1.       Financial

2.       Arguments:  Abraham and Sarah over Hagar

3.       Physical health issues (Job’s wife, Job 2:9)

 

Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity?  curse God, and die.

 

4.       Mental health issues:  anxiety, depression, PTSD, personality disorders, abuse issues

5.       Maturity issues:  one spouse does not grow up

 

C.     Relationships

1.       Children:  health issues, favoritism, behavioral problems, spiritual struggles,

2.       Family

3.       Friends

 

D.     Marriage skills are not learned and applied:

1.       Financial planning:  budgeting, spending, debt, purchases, saving

2.       Communication:  esp. listening

3.       Problem-solving:  more arguing and blaming than solving

 

E.      Bad habits develop:  bossy, cussing, TV-computer-games, not picking up after self, not helping with the children, stingy, flirting, superiority

 

F.      Marriages robbed of time:  career, business, hobbies

 

G.     Sin enters into the home:  drinking, drugs, porn, adultery, dishonesty

 

H.    Spirituality in the home:

1.       One is faithful; the other is not.

2.       One has a lot of spiritual interest; the other does not.

3.       One becomes a Christian after marriage, but the other does not.

4.       One married a non-Christian, and the spouse never obeyed the gospel.

 

I.        Is a “Honeymoon Marriage” Possible?  Not Likely!

 

Marriage Begins                    Passage of Time (5  to 50+ years)                              Marriage Today

 

 


H                                 C         S          R          N         B          N         S          S               H

O                                 H         T          E          O         A         O         I           P               O

N                                 A         R          L                      D                     N         I                N

E                                  N         U         A         S                      T                      R               E

Y                                  G         G         T          K         H         I                       I                Y

M                                 E          G         I           I           A         M                     T               M

O                                             L          O         L          B          E                      U              O

O                                             E          N         L          I                                   A              O

N                                             S          S          S          T                                  L               N

                                                                                    S                                                                      

J.        Because of these things we have mentioned:

1.       Marriages quickly come to an end.

2.       Individuals have had multiple marriages.

3.       Individuals choose to live together instead of getting married.

4.       Many people make fun of marriage instead of reverencing it.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.     What exists at the beginning of a marriage is almost impossible to be maintained throughout 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, or 60 years of marriage.

 

B.      Most do not really want a “honeymoon marriage.”  Instead, they prefer a “heavenly marriage.”

 

C.     In our next lesson, we will look at several ways to make our marriage more heavenly in nature.