OceanSide church of Christ

 Previous Return to Articles Next 

SAYING “GOODBYE” IS NEVER EASY

Victor M. Eskew

 

            When we leave something or someone behind, we often say:  “Goodbye.”  The word “goodbye” is a contraction of the phrase, “God be with you.”  It doesn’t really carry that definition today.  It is now just “a conventional expression of farewell at parting” (www.dictionary.com). 

            There are many times when we use the word “goodbye” in our lives.  Let’s talk about some of them in this article.  We use the word almost daily as we express goodbye to our family and friends with whom we come in contact from day to day.  A husband and wife will tell each other “goodbye” before going to work.  Parents will tell their children “goodbye” when they drop them off at school.  After a long work day, we will say “goodbye” to our co-workers.  We might have lunch with a friend and at the end of the visit we will say “goodbye.”  This goodbye is only for a brief amount of time.  Usually only a few hours pass before we see the individual again.  These goodbyes are not heart breaking.  Perhaps we need to remember what the word goodbye stands for as we say these goodbyes.  Surely, we want God to be with our family and friends for the brief time we are apart from them.

            A second type of goodbye is when we or someone we care about moves away.  When David had to flee from the evil Saul, David and Jonathan had to say this type of goodbye to one another.  I Samuel 20 records the sad farewell between these two companions.  “And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times:  and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded.  And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, The Lord be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed forever.  And he arose and departed:  and Jonathan went into the city” (vs. 41-42).  Paul experienced this same type of farewell when he had to depart from the elders of Ephesus after meeting with them at Miletus.  “And when he had thus spoken, he kneeled down, and prayed with them all.  And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul’s neck, and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake, that they should see his face no more.  And they accompanied him unto the ship” (Acts 20:36-38).  When this kind of goodbye is experienced, there is often sorrow because each person knows that there could be a long period of time that passes before they see one another again.  Sometimes, they know they will never see each other again.  This loss creates a hole in the heart of the individual, a hole that leads to the experience of grief.

            A third type of goodbye happens when we lose a loved one to death.  The death can happen unexpectedly or it can be a death that has been long anticipated.  Either way, the death of a friend of loved one ends a vibrant relationship.  Often, the friends and family of the person who has died will gather and say one last “goodbye” to the individual in a memorial service.  In Genesis 23:1-2, Abraham experienced the loss of Sarah his wife.  “And Sarah was a hundred and seven and twenty years old:  these were the years of the life of Sarah.  And Sarah died in Kirjath-arba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan:  and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.”  The remaining portion of the chapter informs us of Abraham’s purchase of the cave in the field of Machpelah.  This would be the final resting spot for Sarah’s body.  It was here that Abraham said his final “goodbye.”  “And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah before Mamre:  the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan” (Gen. 23:19).  These goodbyes are very difficult.  They are so final in nature.  We know we will never see the individual again in this life.  This loss can run extremely deep.  Too, the type of death the individual experienced can increase the pain of the wound.  Saints hurt when these losses transpire.  However, they also can draw from a resource called hope.  Their hope is their earnest desire and expectation of seeing their loved one in the hereafter.  There, they will be with the one they love forever and ever.  When David lost his small child to death, David drew from the well of hope.  His actions of rising to wash and anoint himself and worship God after the child died puzzled his servants.  He explained them with these words:  “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept:  for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live?  But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me” (II Sam. 12:22-23).  David’s hope involved a reunion with this son after David passed from this life.

            A fourth type of goodbye that all should experience is a goodbye to the old man of sin.  This old man needs to be put to death.  In the conversion process, the sinner repents of his sins.  It is at this point

the old man is crucified.  “Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin” (Rom. 6:6).  Once he has been slain, we need to wave goodbye to him forever.  When we do, it should be a very happy farewell.  However, he is not always easy to destroy.  Often the child of God finds himself having to mortify his members as Paul directs in Colossians 3:5.  “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetous, which is idolatry.”  Every final farewell to sin in our life is a time of great rejoicing.  The loss of every sin enables us to become more and more like our Lord Jesus Christ.

            Can you imagine how the disciples of our Lord felt when they lost Jesus to death on the cross at Golgotha?  Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday morning were periods of deep sorrow.  They had lost their friend.  They had lost their Master.  They had lost their Lord.  They had lost their hope.  All of this was restored, however, early on Sunday morning.  They were begotten to a lively hope by Christ’s resurrection from the dead (I Pet. 1:3).  Forty days thereafter, they had to say goodbye to Jesus again.  This happened when Jesus ascended to the Father from the Mount of Olives.  This goodbye, however, did not break their hearts.  They were given a promise that flooded their souls with a hope of reunion.  Two angels appeared unto them in white apparel which said unto them:  “Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven?  this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven” (Acts 1:11).  These angels were simply affirming a promise Jesus had made earlier to His apostles in the upper room.  He had told them that He was going to leave earth and prepare a place for them.  He then affirmed:  “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also” (John 14:3).  There may have been some sadness as they watch Jesus disappear from their sight that day, but their goodbye would not be forever.  One day they were assured they would be in His presence forever and ever.  We have that same assurance as well if we are faithful in Him when he comes again.  “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God:  and the dead in Christ shall rise first:  then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air:  and so shall we ever be with the Lord” (I Thess. 4:16-18).