OceanSide church of Christ

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FORNICATION MUST BE THE CAUSE

Victor M. Eskew

 

            Marriage was the first institution established by God.  When God saw man’s aloneness in the Garden of Eden, He said that it was not good (Gen. 2:18).  Therefore, God created a woman from Adam’s rib and brought her to him as a mate.  Regarding this new and holy union, God spoke these words:  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:  and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). The word “cleave” in this verse is a very important word.  It means “to be joined together as with glue.”  The application is that God wants two individuals to stay joined together in the holy bonds of wedlock until death parts them.  It is then the marriage ceases to exist (See Rom. 7:2-3).

            Men, including the Jews, have always refused to adhere to the binding nature of marriage (Matt. 19:7-8).  Divorce is common in many cultures.  In our society, little is said about divorce and remarriage.  One in two marriages end in divorce.  Some have been involved in multiple marriages and divorces.  These individuals divorce and remarry for almost any and every reason.  Dear readers, there is hardly a family that exists that has not had to suffer through the hardships associated with a husband and wife going through a divorce.  Children have seen their parents go through it.  Parents have seen their adult children go through it.  Most have had one or two friends who have struggled through a divorce. 

Sadly, individuals fail to research God’s will about this divine union.  (NOTE:  Some do not even realize that marriage is from God and that He has legislated upon it).  Because they have not learned God’s will on the subject, many violate God’s laws that have been given to regulate marriage and divorce. Remember, marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment.  Marriage has often been defined as “one man with one woman for life.”  Divorce was not part of God’s plan.  The Bible teaches us that God hates putting away (Mal. 2:16).

            As we study the Bible, we learn that the Lord allowed only one cause for divorce and remarriage.  That cause is fornication.  Let’s listen to Jesus’ teachings on this subject.  In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said:  “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:  but I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:  and whosover shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery” (Matt. 5:31-32).  The words, “saving for the cause of fornication,” are important for our study. Jesus taught that fornication MUST be THE CAUSE of the divorce if a person is going to be free to remarry.  The word “cause” means “the reason or motive for some action.”  Here, the reason a person obtains a divorce is because his/her mate has committed fornication.

            Jesus echoes this teaching again in Matthew 19:9.  “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:  and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”  Jesus tells us that fornication is the only exception that allows one to divorce and remarry.  Let’s leave the phrase, “except it be for fornication,” out of the verse.  When we do, we see God original design.  “Whosoever shall put away his wife, and shall marry another committeth adultery:  and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”  If a person divorces and remarries, he/she enters into an adulterous relationship.  Both individuals in that relationship are committing adultery.  Jesus gives one exception, “except it be for fornication.”  If a person’s mate has committed fornication, then that individual can divorce and remarry without committing adultery. 

            When some individuals hear this teaching, they are taken back.  They cannot believe their ears.  Interestingly, the apostles reacted this way when they heard it.  Here is how they responded.  “His disciples say unto him, If the case of a man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry” (Matt. 19:10).  Their reaction, however, did not change the teaching.  The teaching is the divine standard for divorce and remarriage.  Fornication is the one thing that is severe enough to allow the marriage bond to be dissolved and allow the offended spouse to remarry without committing adultery.  Here, a vital point needs to be made.  When fornication is committed in a marriage, the offended mate is not commanded to divorce.  There are some who work through the sin and remain married.  The sin of fornication, however, does provide the offended party with the option to divorce and remarry.  The person can do so without being involved in adultery in the next marriage. 

            It is important for individuals to understand that fornication MUST BE THE CAUSE of the divorce.  When asked:  “Why did you divorce your mate?”  The person needs to be able to respond:  “I divorce my mate because he/she committed fornication, and I could no longer remain in the marriage.”  In that reply, fornication is “the reason or motive” for the action of divorce.  If it is not the cause for the divorce, the person who is divorced is not free to remarry.  If he/she does, he/she commits adultery.  Too, the person to whom the individual is married commits adultery. 

            Let’s consider two final points before closing this article.  First, very few states will allow adultery to be put on the divorce papers as “the cause” of the divorce.  The words that are most often used now are “irreconcilable differences.”  This point does not mean that an offended party cannot obtain a divorce.  Fornication is an irreconcilable difference.  In truth, it is the only irreconcilable difference allowed by the Word of God for a divorce and that frees one to remarry.

            Second, there are some people who attempt to find “loopholes” in God’s law.  A loophole is a means whereby one can evade the law of God.  Here is how the loophole often plays out.  Two individuals who are married divorce for a cause other than fornication.  The list of reasons people divorce is extremely lengthy.  They fall out of love.  Family finances caused them to fight and argue.  They were too immature to be married.  What is important is that they DID NOT divorce for the cause of fornication.  The day after the divorce was final, they would have been honest and given the real reason for the divorce.  Later, one of these individuals learns God’s will about divorce and remarriage.  Since, he/she did not divorce for the cause of fornication, he is not free to remarry without committing sin.  Some try to find a loophole by stating that their ex has either committed fornication or has gotten married after they were divorced.  They want this “after the divorce” act to be the cause of their divorce.  But, IT WAS NOT.  They divorced for a cause other than fornication. 

God never intended for divorce and remarriage to be a played as a waiting game.  Can anyone image this scenario being right?  John divorces Jane because he does not love her.  Every year he calls her and asks:  “Have you remarried?”  For the first six years, she tells him:  “No.”  On year seven, he calls again and asks the same question.  This time, she tells him she has remarried.  Now, John says:  “Great.  I am now free to remarry because you have committed adultery against me.”  But, his divorce seven years ago was not for the cause of fornication.  Dear readers, this is not the game that God intended anyone to play with His law.  Fornication must be the cause of the divorce.

            This writer realizes that this teaching is a difficult teaching.  Back in the 1960s and 1970s, our society began to abandon God’s teachings about marriage, divorce, and remarriage on a large scale.  People married, divorced, and remarried, without any thought of God in the process at all.  Too, our society began to abandon the importance of having a relationship with God.  This caused people to engage in the practice of adultery without any thought given to the sins being committed.  When they finally learn about the consequences of their actions in light of God’s truth, they find themselves in a valley of extremely difficult decisions.  This, however, is not God’s fault.  He has revealed His truth to mankind.  It is not the fault of the faithful who proclaim God’s will to man.  Truth is the truth.  When it confronts an individual, he must do whatever is necessary to conform to God’s will for his/her life.  Paul clearly teaches us:  “”Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ…” (Phil. 1:27).  In the realm of marriage, there are some people who will have to remain single for the rest of their lives to please God.  Jesus affirmed this in Matthew 19:12.  “…and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.  He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”