OceanSide church of Christ




Click here to see all of the YouTube videos belonging to OceanSide
(opens in a new browser)

 Previous Return to Sermons Next  Click to download Audio

WHEN OTHERS DO US WRONG

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.     Our relationships with others are one of the best blessings we have in life.

1.       Others encourage us.

2.       Others make us strong.

3.       Others bring us joy.

4.       Others give us assistance when in need.

5.       Others can protect us.

 

B.      But, our relationships with others can also bring the most hurt to our lives.  This is true because others can do us wrong.

1.       Sometimes the wrong is unintentional.

2.       Sometimes the wrongs are very intentional.

 

C.     In this lesson, we want to consider the subject:  “When Others Do Us Wrong.”

 

I.                    MANY EXAMPLES IN SCRIPTURE

 

A.     Jacob and Rebekah hurt Esau by stealing his blessing (Gen. 27:35-36).

 

B.      Judah hurt his daughter-in-law Tamar (Gen. 38:26).

 

C.     Miriam and Aaron hurt Moses when they opposed his leadership (Num. 12:1-2).

 

D.     Samson hurt his parents when he asked for a wife of the Philistines (Jud. 14:1-3).

 

E.      Ahithophel, David’s counselor, hurt him when he betrayed him (2 Sam. 15:31).

 

F.      Judas hurt Jesus when he betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver (Luke 22:47-48).

 

G.     Peter hurt Jesus when he denied Him three times (Luke 22:60-61).

 

H.    John Mark hurt Paul when he returned home on Paul’s first mission trip (Acts 13:13)

 

I.        Demas hurt Paul by forsaking him while in prison (2 Tim. 4:10).

 

J.        Alexander the coppersmith did Paul much evil (2 Tim. 4:14).

 

II.                 WHY OTHERS HURT US

 

A.     One reason others hurt us is because they are selfish.

1.       Dictionary.com:  “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others”

2.       In Bible times, the eldest son received a blessing from his father.  It was a blessing that was far superior to the blessing given to the other children.

a.       On one occasion, Rebekah heard Jacob tell Esau that he desired to bless him.

b.      Rebekah immediately devised a plan to steal the blessing from Esau (Gen. 27:8-10).

 

Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee.  Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:  and thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.

 

B.      Another reason others hurt us out of greed.

1.       Greed is defined as a “rapacious desire for wealth and possessions.”

2.       Judas loved money.

a.       He was the treasurer for the apostles.  The Bible tells us that he bore out what was put within the bag (John 12:6).

b.      His greedy heard led him to betray his Lord for thirty pieces of silver (Matt. 26:15).

 

And said unto them, What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you?  And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver.

 

1)      Did you hear the words:  “What will ye give me?”

2)      Many kinships and friendships have been destroyed because one person wanted all for himself.

 

C.     Some do evil to others out of revenge.

1.       In our first point, we noted that Jacob had hurt Tamar because he failed to give him his son so she could bear a child after the death of her husband.

2.       Tamar sought revenge against Jacob and played the harlot.

a.       Jacob went in unto her not knowing it was Tamar.

b.      When it was revealed that Tamar was pregnant out of wedlock, she exposed Jacob as the father (Gen. 38:25-26).

 

When she was brought forth, she sent to her father in law, saying, By the man, whose these are, am I with child:  and she said, Discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.  And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son.  And he knew her again no more.

 

D.     Sometimes individuals harm us because the simply have no love for us.

1.       Peter denied the Lord three times.

2.       Prior to His ascension to the Father, Jesus questioned Peter.  It is noteworthy that Jesus questioned Peter about his love for his Master (John 21:15).

 

So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?...

 

3.       Fortunately, Peter had not hurt his Lord out of a lack of love for Him. 

a.       Three times, Peter responded:  “Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.” 

b.      Peter’s denial stemmed from fear and self-preservation.

 

E.      A lack of love for the truth can cause one person to harm another (Matt. 10:16-17).

 

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves:  be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.  But beware of men:  for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues.

 

F.      There are so many other reasons that could be discussed:

1.       Being deceived by one can cause you to hurt others.

2.       Having an evil heart may cause you to hurt others.

3.       We can hurt others during our disagreements.

4.       There are times when we might  be unintentionally hurt by another.

 

III.              WHY IT HURTS

 

A.     Relationships are built one the precious foundation of trust.

1.       Trust involves putting part or all of my care into the hands of another person.

a.       We trust them with our thoughts and words.

b.      We trust them with our reputations.

c.       We trust them with our bodies.

d.      We trust them with our family.

e.       We trust them with our finances.

f.        We trust them with our overall well-being.

2.       Trust means that you will love, aid, assist, and protect me.

 

B.      However, when we give trust, we make ourselves vulnerable. 

1.       There is always the risk of exposure.

2.       There is the risk of being taken advantage of.

3.       There is the risk of being used and manipulated.

4.       There is the risk of being cast to the wayside.

 

C.     When our trust is violated, the hurt comes.

1.       Our “person” is harmed.

2.       Too, our heart is deeply wounded.

3.       NOTE:  Many heal from the physical or financial pain, but they do not recover from the emotional scars.

 

D.     Psalm 55:12-14

 

For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it:  neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:  but it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.  We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

 

IV.              HOW TO HANDLE BEING HURT

 

A.     Pray for the individual.

1.       An individual who harms us becomes an enemy in a sense.

2.       Jesus said pray for our enemies.  Listen to one line of his command:  “…and pray for them which despitefully use you…” (Matt. 5:44).

 

B.      Take the wrong without seeking vengeance.

1.       In Corinth, brethren were taking one another to law over insignificant things.  Paul told them to take the wrong (1 Cor. 6:7b).

 

Why do ye not rather take wrong?  Why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded.

 

2.       We do not retaliate.  Instead, we leave the matter in God’s hands (Rom. 12:19).

 

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath:  for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

 

C.     Do not allow yourself to become hateful and bitter.

1.       Becoming a person who is full of anger and bitterness only dims our Christian light.

2.       Ephesians 4:31

 

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you with all malice.

 

D.     Don’t turn off all other relationships. 

1.       In fact, maintain and strengthen the good relationships you continue to have.

2.       Not all friends will take advantage of us and bring harm into our lives.

3.       In times of betrayal, our strong relationships can help us to endure.

4.       Some will stick closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24).

 

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:  and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

 

E.      Confront the individual if sin has been committed (Matt. 18:15).

 

Moreover if thy brother trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone:  if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

 

F.      Forgive the person if he repents of his transgression (Luke 17:3).

 

Take heed to yourselves:  If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.     There is an old adage that says:  “The only things that are certain in life are death and taxes.”

 

B.      Another should be added to the list.  At some point in time, someone is going to hurt us.

 

C.     We need to prepare our reaction to this hurt long before it happens. 

1.       If we do, we will not be hurt as deeply.

2.       We can suffer the hurt and move on in a positive direction.

3.       We can make certain that Satan is not able to take advantage of us in those times.

4.       Our lights can continue to shine in the midst of a dark world.

5.       We can continue to be like Christ our Savior.